Pet (pet_23) wrote in just_a_girl_fic,

Why We Fight- What Really Happened A/S NC-17 Ats

Here's another old FIC. Enjoy!!

In two parts. Here's the first.

TITLE: Why We Fight- What Really Happened
AUTHORS: Pet and Salustra
PAIRING: Angel/Spike
SUMMARY: A rewriting/missing scene version of the episode
SPOILERS: Through Season 5 Ats: Why we Fight

AUTHORS: Pet and Salustra
E-MAILS: Salustra:
TITLE: Why We Fight- What * Really * Happened
PAIRING: Angel/Spike
SUMMARY: A rewriting/missing scene version of the episode
SPOILERS: Through Season 5 Ats: Why we Fight
DISCLAIMER: We don’t own any of these characters; they
belong to Joss and ME. We really wish we could borrow Spike
and Angel for a little while though.
FEEDBACK: Yes please.

Spike comes back to the lovely little villa that he and Dru have
appropriated for themselves in the heart of Madrid. "Dru, I've
got a tasty little treat for you....princess!" He sees a note and
drops the unconscious woman he is dragging. "Darling, gone
to free virgin blood party, two blocks away at the University."

Spike runs out the door. *Crazy woman, can't leave her alone
for ten minutes. 'Free virgin blood party' my arse. *

He can sense her now as he approaches the University. He
runs through the halls towards her, crashing through a set of
double doors. Inside there are a lot of vaguely German-looking
military types, and Dru. One of them is approaching Dru from
behind with a large syringe. "Dru, run for it!" he shouts, and
launches himself into the crowd. He rips and tears and men go
down around him, battered and bleeding. A path is cleared and
Dru runs out the door. More men pour in from the side rooms
then and surround Spike, piling on him as he continues to fight
furiously. Then he feels the sting of a hypodermic needle and
falls into unconsciousness.

Spike wakes up sometime later. *Much* later, by the depleted
feeling he has. Too long without blood. He shifts immediately
into game face. He is in a box, and chains are wrapped around
him. He tests them briefly, and they are strong. They make a
faint jangling noise as he struggles in them.

The Guard hears the jangling and moves forward some towards
the boxes, He hears the jangling again and walks up to them.
He sets his head down on one of the boxes listening closer.

Spike hears the noises, the footsteps, and the heartbeat.
*Food.* He smoothes out his game face and says, putting a
little tone of suggestion in his voice. "Help. I'm a captive, can
you let me out?"

The guard jumps back, his heart nearly jumping out of his
chest. There was talking coming from the box! Then hr moves
slowly back over to the box. "Hello,is someone there?"

*American, I can tell. Good.* "Yes! Those lousy Germans
took me captive. I come from an important and rich family.
They were going to ransom me. Please let me out. They've got
me chained up. There should be some keys or something out
there. You don't know how good it is to hear a civilized

"All right. Hold on. I'm so sorry they did. You'll be out soon,
hold on." The guard looks and sees keys hanging on the wall.
Hr grabs them walking back to the box. He uses each key till
he gets the right one and opens the box. "Oh my god, you’re
chained too! Hold on, one of these should work." The guard
tries each key again on the chains then gets the right one and
releases him. "There. I don't know how you could breathe in
there. You all right?"

Spike climbs out of the box and hugs the guard. "I will be in a
minute." He shifts into game face and bites down into the
guard's neck, sucking deep and hard.

Spike looks over and sees two other boxes. He grabs the keys
and goes to work. He might need help…there’s a whole crew

Sometime later….

After talking to Lawson, Angel moves to the hatch musing.
Damn government! Couldn't a vampire with a soul just brood
in peace and not be dropped into the ocean to save their sorry
asses. Well, if the weights just removed from his ankles were
any indication the answer to that was clearly no. It didn't
matter. He had the orders and he would carry them out and get
back to his life-- whatever and however little a life it was. He
starts to turn the wheel then he pops open the door. What he
sees freezes him to a complete halt, Spike with short slicked
back black hair. *Oh,god it's Spike * he keeps repeating but
nothing comes out.

Spike hears the bulkhead creaking. He's been loitering around
waiting to see if the door would open, and he sticks his head
inside. He is stunned for a moment, as he sees his Sire
standing there--short hair, modern clothes--but definitely
Angelus. He feels a surge of arousal and fierce joy.
"Angelus!" he says, just a little too liltingly. Then his tone
becomes properly snarky. "They'll let *anyone* in here."

Spike turns around after that, and Angel follows behind, still
too shocked for words. Apparently he is still responsive to his
boy’s drawl, if the twitch in his slacks was a clue. He ignores it
and just follows closely behind. He has a job to do, and even
though he is extremely happy to see his boy he can't let it take
him over. He needs to see who is alive and get this sub back.

Spike stalks ahead. This damned foul boat. The stink of so
many packed so close together, and now the overwhelming
smell of blood and dead people, made it impossible to
distinguish smells at all. He should've known Angelus was
behind that door. He stops and whirls around to speak to
Angelus. "Of all the bloody faces I expected to see down 'ere.”

Angel halts and finally has a chance to look Spike over.
"You’re a Nazi?"

Spike is confused. "What?" He looks down at his outfit, the
sleek black leather and the dark uniform shirt and pants
underneath. "Oh. I just ate one. So, they got you too, eh?"

Angel just nods, but inwardly he is cringing. He knows his boy
is still a killer, and though he has a soul now he can't bring
himself to hate Spike as he should.

"They nabbed me in Madrid." *Best not to tell the whole truth.
He's probably still a little sensitive on the subject of Dru. Play
the fool for him. He always liked that.* "Sneaky bastards, the
SS. Don't ever go to a free virgin blood party. Turns out, it's
probably a trap. "

Angel is taken back to the past, to the silly things his Will
would do and would have to explain. He feels the need to
make sure he heard right. "You were captured at a free virgin
blood party?"

"I know. Who'd've thought? One minute I'm trying to figure
out why all the virgins look like Goebbels, the next minute I'm
stuck on a box in this cursed ship." He turns around and starts
walking down the corridor. *Still no respect for me, if he
thinks I'd actually do that. Typical, though.* "Feel better
knowing they got you too. Can't say I'm surprised. From our
company it looks like they're rounding up the baddest of the
bad." He pauses at another bulkhead.

"You'll have to introduce me." Angel says as he waits for Spike
to resume

Spike looks over at his Sire's face. He has much better things
he'd rather be doing right now, but he is still just a little bound
to follow orders. "Of course. But, I gotta warn you, uh, they're
a bit stiff." He whirls the wheel to open the hatch.

They enter the main control room. Standing there is a tall
bearded gentleman dressed in red velvet, and a hunched,
wizened creature with long nails dressed in shapeless black.

Spike gestures towards them. "Angelus, this is Nostroyev,
Prince of Lies.
Nostroyev, Prince of Lies, this is Angelus. *The * Angelus."
Spike can't keep out an undeniable note of pride about his Sire
out of his voice.

Nostroyev speaks. "Angelus, used to be quite a terror back in
the day. Haven't heard much of you lately."

Angel wants to crow with happiness when he hears the note of
pride in Spike’s voice. To think, his boy is still proud of him!
But he shakes it when Nostroyev speaks. He crosses his arms
across his chest. "Haven't heard much of you, *ever*."

Nostroyev puffs out his chest. "Nostroyev! Scourge of Siberia!
And butcher of Alexander Palace."

"Sorry." Angel says

"I was Rasputin's lover!" blurts out Nostroyev.

Spike looks over at Angel. *Lover. I was Angelus' lover,
much more impressive. But you don't hear *me* name-

Angel looks at Spike quickly scanning over him thinking
*Lover! The guy has no concept at all*

Spike quickly interjects, in an apologetic tone, "Uh, look, I
broke these two out just shortly after I got free. Didn't know
you were back there." A look of concern crosses his face.
"Would've come for you as well." His tone is gentle, almost

He turns back to the others, smiling. In a brash tone, he says,
"Suppose we had our hands full with the sailors, didn't we?"
Loud and prolonged squeaky laughter comes from the Prince
of Lies, then he settles again, hands crossed. "Ehhhhh."

Angel holds back more, still cringing. He needs to know if
anyone is alive. "Anybody still alive up here?"

"Nah, we just finished off the last of them. What about back
there? Save us anything?" Spike asks.

"A couple of men in the torpedo room." Angel says

"Well, what're we waiting for?" Spike says, beginning to
swagger towards the door.

Angel stops Spike by putting his hand in the center of Spike’s
chest. His fingers tingle slightly. "No."

Spike feels a bit of electricity at the contact as well. He stops.
"What? "

"We’re not killing anymore humans.” He pauses. “Well ... not
right now." Angel says to cover up his near flub.

Angel has pulled his arms back across his chest. Spike looks
up defiantly. "Why the hell not?"

" ‘Cause in case you hadn't noticed, Spike, we’re trapped at the
bottom of the ocean."

Spike spits back, still defiant. "Yeah. So?"

The Prince of Lies looks up, puzzled. "We're under water?"

Angel tries to be patient. As long as he could remember, Spike
had always been this way-- stubborn and willful. "So...unless
you know how to operate one of these things, were going to
need their help."

Spike leaps over to a set of controls. "Aw, C'mon. How hard
could it be. See, forward, back, up down," He is pressing and
moving things and his last action causes a claxon to sound.
The Prince of Lies covers his ears and hisses.

Angel walks over with a disgusted look on his face and turns
the claxon off.

Nostroyev starts moving forward. "Tell you what. We'll leave
one alive to work the boat." He picks up an axe. "And eat the

"No" Angel says simply.

Spike tries to stave off what will inevitably be a losing
confrontation for the Russian vamp. "Uh, yeah. Probably
should warn you. He likes to pretend he's the boss."

Nostroyev draws himself up and confronts Angel. "You may
have made a name for yourself muscling around weaker

Spike is highly insulted. He is not *weaker*. “Hang on!"

Nostroyev continues. "But I am Nostroyev. I will tear you
open and play Coachman, Spare Your Horses on the lute of
your entrails. Get out of my way."

Angel steps aside, then hits Nostroyev, throwing him against
the wall staking him with the wood end of the axe.

"We don't kill the humans till we reach land. Is that clear?"

Spike admires the smooth outburst of violence, and thrills to
the authoritative ring of his Sire's voice, but he has to be his
own snarky self. He raises his hand in a two-fingered obscene
gesture, and says, "Heil Hitler."

Spike watches Angelus as he nurses this crew along. The poor
sods seemed convinced that Angelus wasn't going to hurt them.
Angelus always was a cruel bastard. But if that was his game,
Spike was only too happy to play it. It seemed, however, that it
was the only game Angelus was going to play. All this time
cramped into a tiny space and aside from touching his chest
once and grabbing his shoulder to shove him, he hadn't so
much as grabbed an asscheek or anything. He was beginning
to think Angelus no longer desired him---a grim thought

Angel looks at Spike, wondering what he is thinking. His Will
was always insecure and this place-- the intense smells-- made
it hard for him to use his vampire senses. He imagined it was
worse for Spike. He looks him over so much was different but
still so much was the same. The cheekbones and the blue eyes
that mesmerized him. His boy is beautiful. Stuck with him
now, in this space, soul or not, he is forced to face up to the
fact he missed him greatly and still had feelings for him.

Spike comes into the room just, unfortunately, too late to see
his Sire's latest bit of violence. But Spike knew the Prince of
Lies must have had some reason to be upset. He looks around
and finds the papers lying on the desk and starts interrogating
and menacing the Nazi, while in full game face. He feels a
perverse twinge of pleasure in Angelus watching him.

Angel, leaning against the wall, keeps a close eye on Spike.
He's there so if Spike tries anything funny he can stop him, but
he can't help feeling a bit proud of his boy taking initiative to
get the answers no matter the way he goes about it.

The answers start to come--an attempt to control vampires.
Spike is furious. But he doesn't translate this into immediate
violence. He's not entirely sure that Angel wouldn't attack him.

Angel finally registers that the testing would include Spike. He
didn't know his boy would be here when he got his orders and
was told what was going on. He gets pissed and tells the Nazi
in German to shut up.

Spike turns around. "You knew?" So Angelus wasn't a
helpless captive after all. Too brilliant to be captured... at least
by the Krauts. But still here, and had to be working some
angle. He commends his sire on his brilliant tactics.

Then he realizes that the Americans must be after the
information too. Fuck Angelus, he'll eat them all!

Angel reaches out and stops Spike from biting into Lawson.
"No you aren't." Then he and Spike get into a argument after a
bit Angel tires of the fight and tells Spike to burn the

Spike crows. "Damn Skippy!" and begins burning the research,
singing "God Save the King!".

Then there is chaos. They are surrounded by subs, have to
dive, the torpedo hits, and while Angel and Spike are doing
damage control, Lawson is working on the engine. He is
stabbed by the German.

Angel finds Lawson too late, but by Lawson’s own admission
he knows he needs him. But that means only one thing he has
to turn him. He feels sick. In 45 years, he made sure he never
hurt anyone and now he has to change a innocent man. He
knows he is saving lives and doing what he was brought here to
do, but he can't stop the guilt. Biting into Lawson’s neck, he
cuts his wrists and after draining him to the point of death he
feeds him his blood. Lawson drops to the floor and Angel
realizes it will take three days for him to rise and there’s only
two days of air. So he thinks coming up with a plan. He goes
back to the men and announces the only option they will be
given. "Ok, Lawson needs three days and you all know we only
have two with air. So that means we have to conserve. There’s
only one way to do that and it means you all are going to be
drugged and out cold till this is over. Do you all understand?"
The men agree, since Angel has the authority. Angel drugs
them all and they are all placed in comfortable positions in the
control room. After that is done Angel looks at Spike. "The
German stabbed Lawson. He wouldn't have lived and we need
him. So, I turned him. We need three days for him to rise. I
had to lie to get them drugged to conserve air."

"Excellent plan. I still don't know why you're dead set on
keeping them *all* alive. There's at least two who aren't
necessary to run the ship. If we ate them, it'd mean more air
for the rest now, wouldn't it?"

Angel looks at Spike more intently. If he knows his boy, this
will be the constant theme. He has to get his mind off the crew
so he can get them all back safely. And there’s only a couple
things that will distract Spike. His pants already beginning to
tent as he thinks about it. He looks him over he puts on his
best Sire tone and lets his eyes glitter with sensual predatory
grace. "Come here Will, no one to distract us now. I have
missed you."

Spike looks over, all too ready to be distracted in *just* this
way. He looks down at his Sire's trousers and he rubs up
against him, cupping his hand on Angelus' crotch. "I can feel
that," he says, responding with a smirk. His own rather tight
pants are quickly becoming confining as he hardens.

Angel smiles and grabs Spike’s hand. He walks towards where
he saw the Captain’s room. Once inside, he pushes Spike up
against the nearest wall, and starts to peel off his clothes.

Spike grins and sighs happily at being handled this way. Now
*this* is Angelus, the Sire he has missed so much. His coat
and shirt are quickly removed, and his sculpted chest comes
into view.

Angel scrapes his nails down Spike’s chest, causing little blood
rivulets to form. He unhooks Spike’s belt, then unzips the
trousers sliding them off. As always, there was no underwear.
His boy is still always prepared for anything at a moment’s
notice. It makes him twinge with lust. This was just to keep
Spike, distracted but looking over Spike’s naked and still
perfect form, Angel feels his chest rumble and his cock
completely hardens. His boy is before him after all this time,
and he cannot deny the pleasure it brings him. He starts
stripping his own clothes off, and when he is also naked he
flips Spike around, pressing himself against him. "Spread your
legs boy."

Spike hisses and moans as the nails scrape into his chest.
Perhaps Angelus will lick at the scratches later, as right now he
seems rather intent on other things. He admires his Sire's
naked and magnificent body before he is flipped around against
the wall. He spreads his legs as he is ordered to. "Yes, Sire."

Angel shivers. It's been so long since he last heard that, and he
can't help feeling the power that comes with it. Spreading his
boy’s ass cheeks, he presses his urgent and hard erection
against his boy’s tight hole. Leaning over he whispers hotly in
his ear, "You can scream as much as you please Will, no one
will hear you." *And without further warning he plunges his
cock inside him groaning and stilling momentarily.

There is a tearing and a ripping as Angelus moves inside with
no lubrication or preparation, and Spike screams and beats his
fists against the wall. But he has no intention of challenging
his Sire, and he knows he will heal, and that his blood will ease
the friction soon enough.

Angel knows right before he starts his punishing pace that he
should’ve been easy. But he can't give himself away so easily,
and he cannot find it in himself to be gentle this time. It's been
too long and he missed this too much. Bringing back his hips,
he starts to thrust hard and fast racing towards the pleasure he
knows will surely come it-- always has with Spike.

Spike screams a few times more, then the screams turns to
growls and a deep rumbling purr as the pumping starts to
become pleasurable, the pain just spice on top now. He begins
thrusting his hips back. His own neglected cock is hard and
twitching with each thrust.

Coming so close, so soon, Angel can only bring himself to
change into game face and sink his fangs into Spike’s neck
before he cums over and over inside his most favored.

Spike cums instantly as the fangs sink into him. It is an
exquisite pleasure too long denied-- 43 years since he last saw
his Sire.

Angel pulls out and backs up. Just as quickly as he lost himself
in the feelings he comes back to himself and pins himself to the
wall. All it took to reduce him to act as his former incarnation
was his boy. He rubs his face and his belly wiping the spread
blood away.

Spike, still panting unnecessarily from the brutal sex that had
just occurred, turns around and sees Angelus wiping himself.
He rushes over, moving Angelus' hand, and begins to lick him
clean, lapping like a kitten with his slightly roughened tongue.

Angel stops Spike and pulls him up, holding him closely.
"Don't, Will. Just don't. Just let me hold you, all right?"

Spike is confused. Angelus always used to *love* his tongue.
But he relents, letting Angelus hold him. He cuddles in closer.

Angel threads his fingers through Spike’s black locks
loosening them his voice is soft when he speaks again. "I hate
this hair, I just thought I should say-- the color and the fact you
cut it. I thought I told you to never cut it ever."

"Yeah, well *you* haven't been around now, 'ave you? And
yours is short as well. No one but artists and poofters have
long hair nowadays, and both tend to get beaten. But if I'm
back as your boy, I promise to grow it to your liking."

Angel hums to show he heard and just lays his head on top of
Spike’s breathing him in. He wants to take Spike in and keep
him close but he can't. Spike’s a killer. And when this is over
he can't stay around him or he will have to kill him. And he
can't kill his beautiful boy he just can't. "I'm sorry I went away.
It was for the best Will."

"How? Leavin' me to take care of crazy Dru? 'Cause with you
gone, Darla left us quick. No family but each other. Why did
you leave?" Spike looks up with injured eyes.

Angel caresses Spike’s cheek his heart breaking. "Things
beyond my control, if I stayed.....if I stayed I would’ve only
hurt you more. Your life would’ve been in danger of me and I
cannot live in a world you are not a part of."

Spike senses that there are things involved here that his Sire
will not share, and it grieves him. That things can never be the
same again...He starts to pull away from Angelus.

Angel stops him. "Please stay with me, I missed you. I'm
asking you please stay. If you love me stay with me."

"Asking? Angelus asking? I'm your boy, Angelus. You don't
have to ask." Spike turns back to Angelus, and buries his face
in the broad expanse of his chest. "I'm still your boy, aren't I?"

Angel laughs. "The asking is something new I'm trying--
changing times and all that. And yes my beautiful Will you are
still my boy, always my beautiful boy."

Spike pulls Angelus over towards the bed, backing up until the
backs of his legs are against the bed, and falling backwards,
trying to pull Angelus on top of him.

Angel lands on top of Spike in a ungraceful heap and lifts up
with a smirk. "You be wanting something thing lad?"

Spike chuckles. "Everything. I'm greedy. So what is your
next pleasure? Or do you want me to surprise you?"

Angel smiles. "I always did like your surprises so lets go with

Spike pushes Angelus over onto his back. He moves again to
start licking Angelus into hardness. But then he slits a wrist
and starts dripping blood, which he smears onto his thighs. He
lays on top on Angelus, gripping his lubricated thighs as tightly
as he can around his cock, and starts raising and lowering
himself, wrapping the cock in his corded thigh muscles,
milking him slowly.

Angel moans and gasps out, "Oh, this is new...but good. New
and good."

Spike chuckles, even as he moans himself. His own cock
brushes and collides with Angelus’ cock each time he pulls
back, and is rubbed between their stomachs when he thrusts
down. "You asked for a surprise, Sire."

Angel smiles and manages between moans of enjoyment.
"Well, color me surprised Will...oh, god."

Spike pumps harder. "Still call me Will in the bedroom, I see
that hasn't changed. I kinda like it, though. No one else calls
me Will. It's kinda special. Like this." And he pumps harder
and bears down even tighter on Angelus' cock.

Angel cries out and grips onto Spike’s hips. "You’re special, so
special Will."

Spike squirms and wiggles and adds a shimmy as he moves up
and down, hoping to bring Angelus to orgasm yet again.

Angel moves desperately now, rubbing himself as much as he
can against Spike, making sure his body connects with Spike’s
erection each time he rubs. "So close, Will. Oh, so close."

Spike revels in the feel of Angelus against him. He begins
licking and sucking on Angelus neck, then biting with blunt
teeth, as he moves faster and faster towords climax.

Angel moans deep and arches his neck. "Go on, do it Will.
Bite me. Make me cum."

Spike doesn't question his good fortune. He morphs into game
face and bites down hard, sucking in the sweet nectar of his

Angel groans out long and hard, bucking, and cums, spilling
onto himself and Spike.

Spike drinks down the blood of his Sire, unable to believe his
good fortune. It is with the greatest reluctance that he stops,
and starts licking the wounds on his neck. He is still hard, no
release yet, but he doesn't care. He just wants to nurse, licking
and sucking on his Sire's neck.

Angel calms down and rolls Spike onto his back. Sitting up, he
trails his hand down his body, grasps his erection, and starts a
slow gentle pace up and down.

Spike whines as Angelus' neck is moved away, but doesn't try
to follow. He knows better than to defy his Sire in bed. He
leans back, gasping and moaning and enjoying the attentions
on his cock.

Angel bites the tip on his pointy finger and inserts his finger in
Spike’s mouth. "Don't whine. Suck and lick that, Will. Just
enjoy this."

Spike begins nursing on the bleeding finger, licking and
sucking and working it for all he is worth. Angelus is being
uncommonly generous. It must be the long separation.

Angel begins to pump a bit harder and faster increasing the
grip while moving his finger around Spike’s mouth.

It didn't take long...Spike was already so near to cumming.
The stimulation and the blood pushed him right over, cumming
onto Angelus’ hand and onto his own stomach.

Angel lets go and leans over, licking up all traces of his boy’s
cum, and moves up until he is lying beside him on the bed. He
starts to run his fingers through Spike’s hair. "So you look
good, aside from the hair. How’s Drusilla?"

Spike raises an eyebrow. "Dru's fine, crazy as ever, but that's
nothing new. We get along."

"You’re a good boy for being with Drusilla, William. She
needs you."

"Yeah, I'm a good boy. I sodding missed you, Angelus. Why
did you leave?"

Angel caresses Spike’s cheek. "You already asked me that, and
it doesn't matter I'm here now and you’re with me. I wanna just
be with you. Come now, give me a kiss."

Spike melts his body close up against Angelus as he kisses
him, tenderly, then fiercely. He can taste his own taste in
Angelus' mouth.

Angel keeps the kiss going for a while, then he pulls back and
smiles. "You still taste so nice."

"Do I now? So what is your next pleasure? Or do you just
want to lie here and hold me for a while?" Spike starts licking
and sucking along Angelus’ exposed neck.

Angel stretches his neck a bit further and reaches down. He
brings Spike’s one leg around his hip, tilting Spike’s ass to his
erection. "Lower yourself down then rock, and you can lick all
you like."

Spike lowers himself carefully onto his Sire's massive cock.
He is still sore, but at least he is still slick from the earlier
invasion. He loves licking his Sire's neck...or indeed, any part
his Sire would allow him to lick. He loves the musky taste and
tender feel of his skin. He loves the sensation of licking and

Angel groans when he is completely lowered onto him. Deep
inside his boy was always his most favorite place to be. So
tight and perfect like it was just for him and no one else. He
leans into the licks. "Are you still mine?"

"Yes....I have always been yours. Your boy. No one else's.
Damn, I've thought about you every single day you've been
gone. Thought about you when I've been with Dru. She thinks
about you too, all the time, it's Daddy this and Daddy that."

"I miss you all so much sometimes. But you’re better off
without me, Will. You and Drusilla, you have to know that.
But I miss you so much, my beautiful boy-- the way you feel,
the taste of you, the smell. I dream of you all the time," Angel
says as he thrusts ever so gently back and forth.

"I want to be with you, damnit. Not Dru. I want you. I want
to be yours, just yours." Rash words, he knows, but he cannot
stop himself from saying them.

Angel almost sheds a few tears. He wants it to so much. But
he just can't, no matter what. He knows he can't explain to his
boy. He can't risk Spike flipping out in this submarine, so he
just presses his fingers against his lips and kisses them and
thrusts a bit deeper.

Spike swallows his disappointment. He's pushed too hard. His
Sire doesn't want him back, just wants to use him for now
because he is here. Well, he doesn't intend to waste it. He
twists slightly and bears down with his muscles, flexing and
releasing, milking Angelus' cock.

Angel moans and pushes a bit deeper. He sees the look of
disappointment and leans over Spike’s ear and whispers. "I
know what you’re thinking, Will. Don't think that, my little
one. Can't you feel how much you mean to me? I need you so

"It doesn't make any sense, Angelus. You say you want me, I
feel you inside me, but you don't want to keep me. You won't
tell me why. What could it possibly be?"

"Something bigger than you or me, Will. I can't tell you, my
little one. Please just be with me. Don't question me. Just
touch me, my beautiful boy. I wanna remember, not stress.
Please, William, just leave it be."

*Just leave it be. So this was all there would be. Three days
was too damn short for this. Damn, damn, damn.* He runs his
hands over Angelus' body, trying to rememorize the feel of his
skin, the muscles, the curves.

Angel is groaning now and his eyes are squeezed shut. He
can't bear looking at Will, with his facial expressions of
heartbreak he knows he will see when he looks deep down. So
he just concentrates on the feeling inside and out of himself--
just thrusting and angling his hips.

Spike thrusts back. He lowers his mouth, licking again, up and
down the neck, then nibbling along the collarbone.

Angel begins to pant and sets his head on top of Spike’s
mouthing 'I Love You' over and over. He can't say the words
out loud-- for so many reasons-- but he can't stop himself from
mouthing them. He never cared for anyone like his boy, despite
what his demon claimed.

Spike tries hard not to think, just to feel. So little time, and he
refuses to waste it in regret. There will be too much of that
when this time is over. He concentrates on the sensations, on
Angelus' cock deep within him, on the feel of his skin, on the
comfort of sucking and licking, on the curves of his body. He
thrusts harder, rocking and grinding his hips.

Angel pushes down on Spike’s lower back and he goes in as
deep as he can go. His voice rasps and rumbles his, body
freezing, except for his now hammering hips driving towards
ecstasy. "Oh, god. So close, so close Will." Angel reaches
between them and grasps Spike’s erection, tugging on it hard
and fast.

Spike thrusts back, and moans long and loud as he feels
Angelus' hand on him. He moves his mouth to a nipple and
sucks and bites with blunt teeth.

Angel pumps harder and cums, spilling into Spike. "Oh,god,
Will! So good."

Spike cums shortly after. "God, I love the feel of your hand on
me. You have the sexiest damn hands...."

Angel wraps his arms around Spike flips him around so he is
spooning his back. Running his hands all over Spike’s chest,
and rubbing his head in his hair, he says. "Well, they’re good
for some things. Rest with me now. We have two days to be

*Oh God. I love being handled like that, like a ragdoll in his
arms.* "Yes, Sire." He purrs, a slight rumble in his chest, and
slowly falls asleep.

Angel stays up for a long time after, just watching Spike
breathe even though he doesn't need to, just as he has always
done. He drops deeper into sadness. He had always thought he
had sunk as deep as he could, but he hasn't come close. Here
in his boy’s arms, now, in the deep depths of the ocean, Angel
knows the full measure of sadness and pain. He closes his eyes
finally, one tear trickling down his face, and falls into a restless

Spike wakes up and for a long while just rests, comfortable in
Angelus' arms. Then he wiggles out, and goes to wash himself.
No power for a shower, but he gets enough water to sponge off
and get clean. He wets a washcloth and soaps it and goes to
start cleaning Angelus as he sleeps.

Angel opens one eye and smiles slightly. It seemed Spike
would never grow out of doing things for him, no matter how
he held things or treated him. It was sad, but also so touching
his heart wanted to beat so it could break again. He opens his
eyes and looks down at Spike. "Good morning, Will. Sleep

"Excellently. Very soothing." Spike finishes scrubbing him
and brings over another wet washcloth to clean off the soap.
"And yourself?"

"Better than most days, so I guess good. Was good to have you
in my arms again. You smell good. You must’ve cleaned up
before you came out to clean me, then. I could’ve done it, you

"Yes, I know. But then I wouldn't have had an excuse to
manhandle you while you were sleeping. Besides, you used to
like this."

Angel props his arm behind his head. "I still do, Will. And if
you want to touch me, you do not need an excuse. You can
touch me whenever you please."

"You *say* that, but I can remember times when you've used it
as an excuse to beat me. Of course, I think any excuse
would've done."

Angel winces and sits up. He takes the rag, placing it with the
other. Then he swings his legs over the edge of the bed and
rubs his face roughly.

"What? Should I not have mentioned it? You can beat me
now if you want. I have two days to heal before the anchovies
see me."

Angel turns around and covers Spike’s mouth. He gives him a
look as if he said he wanted to join a convent, his body
shaking. "Will, don't be stupid and say things like that do you
understand me?"

Spike's eyes wide, he nods. *Not sure what I said to upset him,
but no sense in contradicting him.*

Angel removes his hand and nods. "Are you hungry?"

"After all those sailors? Not bad. But I thought we weren't
going to eat any of the others."

Angel nods. "We aren't, Will." Angel tilts his neck and points
to it. "Now are you sure?"

Spike purrs loudly. "Oh. That's a different kettle of fish, then.
Always hungry for you." He shifts into game face and moves
in, pausing to look up for permission.

Angel cups the back of Spike’s head and cradles him to his
neck. "Go on then, little one."

Spike sinks in his fangs, quickly sucking to catch every
precious drop of blood. He knows better than to drink much,
and he quickly licks the wound closed. He bares his own neck.
"And yourself?"

Angel nods, and comes forward, tilting Spike’s head back and
stretching his neck just so. Changing into his game face, he
lowers his fangs into Spike’s neck. He takes about as much
blood and pulls back and licks the wound closed. "Thank you."

"My pleasure...most definitely." Spike stretches like a cat. "So
what is your pleasure?"

Angel leans against the wall. "What’s yours?"

Spike looks up and down Angelus' muscled body. "This is a
test, right? I'm here to do your pleasure. I'm your boy. My
pleasure is secondary at best. That's how you taught me."

Angel shakes his head and tries again. "Forget what I told you,
I said what’s yours?"

"Oh, fine, if you're playing with me, then I'd like you to suck
me off." He braces himself to be backhanded for insolence.

Angel pushes off the wall, and walks to Spike. He is kissing
him, then slowly moving down his neck, then to his chest,
moving his way down, til he is on his knees before Spike’s
semi-hard erection. He looks up at Spike’s face, making sure
he is looking at him.

Spike is breathing hard. He can't believe what seems to be
about to happen. *Can't be true. He's going to bite it or
something, teach me a proper lesson.* But he can't tear his
eyes away from Angelus'.

"Good boy. No looking away, keep looking at me." *He brings
his mouth closer then, and starts licking up the length slowly in
long strips.

Spike's cock quickly comes to full hardness. *As if I could
think about looking away.* He moans softly.

Angel keeps licking for awhile, watching his boy’s face
scrunch and flex. Then he moves up the length, and slowly
engulfs the head. Reaching up, he grabs one of Spike’s hands,
brings it behind his head, and lays it there.

Spike's eyes get wider still. He lets Angelus' mouth rest where
it is, but then slowly starts pulling him forward, praying that is
what Angelus' means for him to do.

Angel groans his approval, and slides down his boy’s length til
it is totally seated inside his mouth and throat. Then he
squeezes Spike’s fingers in his hair and lets go. Now he will
let his boy set the pace, direct him.

*Damn. He really means it. There's got to be something
coming.* But he starts pulling back gently, then forward, at a
good steady pace, just savoring the first-ever feel of his Sire's
mouth engulfing his cock.

Angel relaxes his throat and lets Spike control the pace, just
reveling in the taste and feel and the surrender.

Spike maintains the steady pace as long as he can stand, til his
hips start jerking of their own accord, then he starts pulling and
pushing faster.

Angel rides it out. Then when Spike pushes in, he sucks in his
cheek and swallows. He knows he likes this when Spike does
it, so he tries it out.

Spike shudders. "Oh, fuck, Angelus..." and he is barely
holding his control. Too much more and he will simply start
face-fucking Angelus and he's *sure* that won't go over well.

Angel swallows again and again, trying to push Spike, wanting
him to take what he wants.

Spike holds out as long as he can, but then totally loses control,
grabbing Angelus' head with both hands as he fucks wildly,
bucking hard into his mouth.

Angel rides it out and lowers his teeth, scraping lightly, and
keeping up his strong swallowing motions.

Spike howls and cums, shooting seed into Angelus' mouth,
unable to resist after the additional stimulation of teeth.

Angel slowly releases Spike’s spent cock from his mouth, and
sits back on his heels, licking over his swollen lips, a contented
look on his face.

Spike reaches down and strokes' Angelus face. "That is the
most....I don't know what to say."

Angel leans his face into Spike’s head, kissing it. "Don't have
to say anything-- except another pleasure you may have or

"Are you serious? I mean, really, really serious?" Spike says.
He knows what he wants but is desperately afraid to ask, still
expecting some incredible punishment.

Angel stands and nods. "I said so, didn't I? Now come on Will,
tell me."

Spike stands up and walks around behind Angel, cupping his
ass in his hands, stroking and massaging. "I want to be inside

Angel can't help the shiver, or the remnants of Angelus that
scream the wrongs in this desire, but Angel swallow them
down and says only one word. "How?"

"You, on your stomach on the bed, me behind and on top of
you." Spike is shivering too, not believing this moment is
actually happening. He wets a finger in his mouth and works it
inside of Angel's ass as he stands.

"Ok." Angel says, and shivers again as he feels Spike’s finger.
He goes over and lays on the bed on his stomach as instructed.

"Just a minute." He goes tearing around, looking for
something to use for lubrication. He is *not* going to do this
half-assed. He finds a bottle of lotion, and moves back over to
the bed. He begins working the lotion into Angel, using one
finger, and then two.

Angel stretches out his palms on the bed, and starts to try to get
used to the invasion.

Spike thrusts the two fingers, stretching, as he applies lotion to
his hardened cock with the other hand. He cannot trust his luck
or his control too long, though, and he moves behind Angelus
and begins to push the head of his cock up against the rosebud.
He pushes harder and harder til the muscle gives way and he is

Angel cries out and digs his fingers into the bedding, letting his
body adjust.

Spike is almost overwhelmed. Angelus is so tight. This is so
wrong and yet so wonderful. He pushes in deeper, a bit at a
time, letting Angelus accustom himself to the sensation, til he
is sunk in to the root. Then he starts pumping, slowly. *God,
it's like being encased in bands of silk. If he kills me after this
it will be worth it.*

Angel relaxes totally and starts to push back ever so slightly.

Spike notices this. *A good sign. He's enjoying it, then.* He
thrusts a little harder and a little deeper, slowly picking up the

Angel, who is beginning to pant, keeps pushing back.

Spike reaches under and starts stroking Angel's cock as he
picks up his own pace yet again, thrusting harder, nearing his
climax. He angles down hard, hitting the prostate with every

Angel screams, the sensation is too much. He cums into
Spike’s hand and pumping back harder his muscles tightening.

Spike cums then too, shooting deep within Angel, thrust deep
within him. He stays until he begins to soften, and then pulls
out. He lays down next to Angelus and strokes his face.

Angel lays still and just kisses Spike’s fingertips. "Was it
everything you dreamed it would be?"

"And more. I never more than dared to dream it would ever
happen. Dominant vampires just don't *do* that. Why did you
let me?"

"Just like the please thing I'm trying new things out. Is there
anything else you ever wanted that I denied you Will?"

*God he's planning to leave me forever. I'm never going to see
him again. There can't be any other reason for this.* "Only
one thing. But I already know I can't have it."

Angel tries to put a smile on his face. "I know you want that
Will, but I also think there’s something else you have wanted.
Did ya not ever want me to tell you I loved you, Will?"

Spike closes his eyes and rolls away from Angelus. "Don't
tease me. I know you hate the idea of love."

Angel comes up behind Spike, and molds himself to him,
whispering. "I said I was not teasing or playing with you. That
hasn't changed. Now answer me, William. Did you not ever
want me to tell you?"

Spike rolls over to face Angelus. "Only every day."

Angel nods, and rubs his nose against Spike’s. "Do you want
me to tell you? If I do I promise I'll mean it."

*Yes. It'll break my heart but I want to hear it.* "Yes. Please.
I want to hear it."
Tags: fic, nc-17, spangel, stand alone
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